Do I feel Safe & Secure In My Own Skin?

In a world that constantly demands more from us all the time — whether in our careers, social lives, or personal development — it’s very easy to overlook the most fundamental aspect of our well-being: feeling safe in our own skin. But what does it truly mean to be safe in our own skin? This question extends beyond physical safety; it certainly delves into emotional, psychological, and even social safety & security. Most of us go through life without considering how safe we feel within ourselves.

Are we scared of something within? Whether we like it or not, we all keep struggling at some point in time in our lives with some kind of fears. We might follow societal expectations, seek validation from others all the time, and suppress parts of our identity to fit in. But true safety and security isn’t just about external circumstances; it’s also about internal peace, self-acceptance, self-respect, and the ability to navigate the world without fear of judgment, harm, or rejection.

Here are five pointers s how to feel more comfortable in one’s on skin:

1. Ways To Feel Safe

Being comfortable within ourselves always happens faster when we feel psychologically safe. Any risks that we take in our lives are always easier when we have an emotional safety net around us. Trusted friends and loved ones who appreciate, respect and accept us for who we are act like a coat of armour when we want to try something new. The opposite is also true. When we don’t feel psychologically safe, our body and mind are on high alert and it’s hard to try new things, reframe missteps or even be present and in the moment.

This can be particularly challenging in social settings where our awkwardness can be read/seen by the people around us. The advice here is to try new things slowly and with people we trust. Once we start trusting ourselves more, we will find it easier to branch out and try new social activities and take risks in less well-known spaces and with less well-known people.

2. It’s Important to Know Who We Are?

Do we really know the answer of this direct question: “Who We are”? We all have our own unique “stories” or a “narrative” of who we are that seems fixed somehow based on their past. We may think of ourselves as “too much” or a “bad friend” or “not good socially.” And while we may have had moments with these issues, it isn’t who we are. When it comes to learning how to be comfortable in our own skin, we have to take stock of the stories we believe to be true and remember that we can change the story moving forward.

Our character is not set in stone. And that is the most important thing. When we assume things like “no one cares for me” we show up with that belief in our “beingness.” In other words, if we believe ourselvesto be any of the characteristics, we will show up as that person. And that is a trap that will keep us stuck in old thinking and stops us from taking new risks in life.

3. Listen To The Self Talk

Along with the story in head is the voice we must hear. Our “inner narrator” is likely quite critical, mean and lacks compassion. Negative self-talk can bombard us and encase us in a hurtful prison of our own making. To feel comfortable in our own skin, we have to change our internal soundtrack.

Listen for when we are self-critical or say things like “I am bad”, “I am wrong” “No one wants me”, No one likes me”. All of these messages tear down our self-esteem and make it harder for us to move into a practice of loving ourselves and accepting ourselves, our flaws and shortcomings.

4. Replace Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones

Often when we have intrusive, even obsessive thoughts running around in our minds, it’s easy to create an entire story about ourselves or a situation faced by us. When we find ourselves worried or holding on to negative thoughts, let’s take a deep breath and ask:

1. What evidence do we have that this story is true?
2. What facts are out there that support the story in our minds?
3. Could there be another reason or set of reasons for the situation we’re in?
4. What else could it be that we are missing out?

After answering those questions, let’s write a new story, one that has more of a realistic, neutral tone. Instead of thinking, “they didn’t care about us and didn’t respond to our messages etc. because of XYZ reasons, replace that with the possibility that “they might be busy, it is a hectic time. And they will revert back to me.”

5. Embrace Strengths

To feel comfortable in our body and experience self-acceptance, we also need to have some self-compassion and some self-love. Let’s spend a few minutes reminding ourselves of what we do well and how we bring value to our friends and loved ones in our lives.

Let’s do something that reminds us of our strengths every day. This is the real key to start building the mental muscle that will give us the courage to try new things and take risks in our lives. And ultimately, feeling comfortable in our own skin is a practice that takes time but it is so worth it for our mental healthand our well-being.

Conclusion

Precisely, feeling safe in our own skin is all about more than just physical security — it’s about emotional, social, and psychological well-being. It requires self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and finding communities that embrace us as we are. In a world that often pressures us to conform, staying true to ourselves is a radical act.

But when we cultivate self-confidence and create environments that support our well-being, we take a significant step toward living a life free from fear, shame, and self-doubt So, let’s ask ourselves: Do we truly feel safe in our own skin? If not, how quickly we can take charge of our own lives? The journey may not be easy, but it’s one worth taking.

About the Author

Muhammad Sajwani is a C-Level HR, Transformation Leader, Board Advisor, Business Coach & Organisational Consultant and Managing Director, Evolve HR. He is an author, columnist and a contributor who besides writing for LinkedIn and Medium, also regularly writes for BizCatalyst 360 and has published around 500 articles. He brings along 30+ years of local & international experience. He is a change catalyst specialising in unleashing the human Dreamgenius through Leadership, Creativity and Change Management. Muhammad has been instrumental in helping organizations come to terms with organizational changes like right-sizing and business process re-engineering. His innovative approach & high personal competence encourages people to not only accept change, but also to excel in it. Muhammad has diverse experience in conducting strategic & management development programs, conferences & events for organisations across sectors. In recognition of his long outstanding services, Global HR Professionals — GHRP & Artificial Intelligence Community of Pakistan awarded him the “Lifetime Achievement Award” in the year 2024.