Hope from Despair: A huge transition
Despair, the loss of hope for the future, is one of the most difficult experiences we can have in our lives. Despair can often appear out of the blue. We may suffer a tragic loss of a loved one or receive devastating news about our health. Maybe a scary world event suddenly unfolds. It might be the increasing unhappiness in a relationship. Perhaps it’s the gradual loss of fulfilment in our work or growing anxiety over anything. Our lives can drastically change over night.
No matter its roots, despair can lead us to a dark and sorrowful place. We may experience debilitating exhaustion, tearfulness, panic, even shame. Hopelessness, true to its name, convinces us that there is no way out. No point in trying, nothing that can be done to alleviate our misery. The only way to get out of the state is that we have to believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Here’s how to find strength and hope in times of despair.
1. Baby Steps
Despair often comes with increased fatigue and a general sense of resignation. As a result, we may lose motivation for everyday activities. With a gloomy outlook on the future, what’s the point in washing the dishes? Apathy and loss of interest are normal responses to our difficulties. However, in the long run, avoiding things can keep us trapped in our heavy emotions.
Despite our instinct to withdraw, participating in daily activities can be a healthy way of coping with our grief. It can provide us with comfort, distraction, and perhaps even meaning. If you are not sure what activities to do, try asking yourself: How would I spend my time today if I had hope? What kinds of things do I enjoy when I feel okay?
Here are some tips for activities that can relieve low mood:
- Spend some time with the mother nature. The outdoors can be incredibly therapeutic, especially when the weather is nice and when we combine it with a physical activity, like hiking or cycling.
- Find solace in reading a book, watching a movie or playing a game. Or learn about other forms of self care. Remember that it’s okay to slow down and take a break, one doesn’t need to be busy all of the time.
- Express your feelings through creativity. Drawing, painting, dancing, writing or playing music can be healing outlets for our sadness (and can also be fun!).
2. Free Up Your Mind
During the free time, let’s not think about problem-solving of any kind. Instead, focus on resting, healing, and gifting ourselves with positive, healthy thoughts and experiences. Clear up the mind by practicing silence. Silence does wonders to slow our thoughts and helps us to be mindful of the present good moments. Let’s begin to shift our focus to meditation and prayers instead of work. Let’s practice silence every morning while walking to clear our minds and stay healthy.
By doing the above, we shall feel so relieved that our despair will soon began to lift when we stop focusing all our efforts on work. We may have heard of mindfulness meditation, but did we know that it can help with overcoming despair? Did we know the hidden strength of silence? This helps our mental health. This can calm our mind and bring unexpected relief.
3. Look For Meaning
Even our worst experiences can be a source of growth when we are able to find meaning in them. In his seminal book, Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor Frankl describes how he coped with the unimaginable cruelty and hardship of the holocaust. In his darkest moments, he would imagine that one day he would use his dreadful experiences to help others. He said “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
Just like Frankl, we may be able to find ways of turning our despair into gaining a new sense of purpose. Some psychologists call this process post-traumatic growth — the ability to find a renewed appreciation of life and a deeper connection with humanity as a result of despair and trauma. To explore this possibility, try asking yourself:
- Can I become a stronger, wiser person from this experience?
- What can I learn from this? How can I grow?
- How can I use this experience to make the world a better place?
4. Think Differently
Highly successful people also go into depression and zone of despair but they don’t waste time cribbing and complaining about the obstacles in their path or the problems they face. They can deal with tough situations because they force themselves to think differently and act differently.
Positive thoughts act as a driving force that provides us strength to cope with difficult circumstances and forge ahead despite the challenges. A positive mind space helps us see things in perspective and gives us the courage to change what we can and accept what is not in our power to control.
5. Rely on Close Friends
When we feel overwhelmed by distress, it can be difficult to open up. We may withdraw from others, fearing their response to our struggles. Perhaps we have been taught to feel guilty when asking for help or we don’t want to feel like a burden. But periods of despair are when we need each other the most. Just like with inactivity, isolation often only makes us feel worse. We all have an innate need for closeness with others as a way to help us feel safe.
Remember, Our greatest challenges are also our greatest opportunities to deepen emotional closeness with our loved ones. Friends and family can give us empathy and reassurance, as well as providing practical solutions that can reduce our stress. They can drive us to doctors’ appointments or help us in reconciliation if needed. Importantly, they can help us laugh, which might be exactly what we need to find strength and optimism again.
Wrap Up
No matter how bad life seems, one can find the way out of despair. We all need time to rejuvenate, so break the pattern. Take time to reflect on what you truly want out of life and what you must do to get back on course. The answers often are not complex. They’re just hidden because we lost our focus on what’s important. Take some time to think about the thoughts or actions that may have led to our despair. Once we identify the problem, with a little guidance, we can correct it and completely change our lives.
Our thinking shapes the person we become because our thoughts create our reality. Training ourselves to think differently will create space for endless possibilities and open doors to newer opportunities. So tap into our mind power, expand our horizons, get out of the rut and become more creative.
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About the Author
Muhammad Sajwani is the Founder and Managing Director of Evolve HR which aims at transforming, enriching and evolving Human Capital of Pakistan, Evolve HR thrives in challenging assumptions that hinder organisational aspirations, by creating innovative solutions that yield maximum impact, scalability & benefit to a wider base of stakeholders. As a Business Coach and Organisational Consultant, Sajwani knows how to combine business insights with people insights to transform organisations and put them on the path to growth.
