How Do Emotionally Intelligent People operate?
My own generation and even the next one was raised believing that high IQ was a surefire predictor of success. However, studies have found that while “smarts” can help one succeed in business ventures or help land good jobs, strong Emotional Intelligence (EI) for Emotional Quotient (EQ) is, oftentimes, what helps us keep it.
Origin of EI
Often referred to as “EI” or “EQ,” the term “Emotional Intelligence” or “Emotional Quotient” has become a part of the lexicon thanks to Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book: “Working with Emotional Intelligence”, first published in 1995 which forever changed the paradigm of how success is predicted. A plethora of books and articles on EQ, by Goleman and other authors, have followed — each bringing to light how the management of our emotions impacts our careers and determines overall success in our lives.
In the 10th anniversary edition of his bestseller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ (2005), author Daniel Goleman quotes a search firm executive who says: “CEO’s are hired for their intellect and business expertise — and fired for a lack of emotional intelligence”.
Read on for 5 signs of an emotionally intelligent person:
1. Embrace Change
Emotionally intelligent people don’t fear change because they have a fixed sense of self that stays constant in all circumstances. Instead, they keep looking for new avenues and pursue new opportunities to grow. At times, they are impatient too.
Change is an inevitable part of life. People resist change because they are afraid of the unseen. Our brains are hardwired to preserve routine, but we have to overcome these instincts if we want to evolve and experience as much as possible.
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2. Empathy & Compassion
When people are connected with their own emotions, they’re better able to relate to others. They can imagine how different situations might feel and provide support accordingly.
Emotionally intelligent people can read others too. They observe social and emotional cues and see past simply what is said to what someone might be experiencing underneath. They care about how their actions affect other people, and they’re able to make predictions to avoid causing hurt.
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3. Receptive to Feedback
Let’s pause here and think for a while as how do we respond to constructive criticism? Are we able to listen as objectively as possible and reflect on other people’s perspectives? Or does anything but enthusiastic approval feel like an attack? If it’s the latter, this is a sign that one need still to work on his/her EI.
Why? Because throughout life, we will be assessed in different ways by different people. Our role is to measure the value of this feedback and incorporate the advice that’s useful to us. If we’re too stubborn and sensitive to accept criticism, we are bound to miss the bus i.e. the vital opportunities to improve.
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4. Balanced lives
Emotionally intelligent people look for balance. They understand that a singular focus on one aspect of their lives leads to neglecting family, friends and social commitments. They also look after themselves because they know that they can’t achieve their goals unless they’re healthy and happy.
Let’s learn to regain control over our work behavior. One way to do this is by setting clear rules for how many hours one needs to work each day. If we have trouble ‘switching off’, we might want to stop working a few hours before we retire for bed. Indulge in the activities that lighten up our mood better, things that makes us relaxed i.e. seeing friends, watching a movie, or reading a book can also help us psychologically detach from work.
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5. Love to learn
Alvin Toffler rightly said that “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn”. We all need to learn to improve our performance in our current roles, prepare for future roles, develop our current expertise and broaden our horizon for future. This can only happen if we continue to keep abreast ourselves on what is happening around us i.e., our business, our industry, locally and globally.
For an EI person, life is full of learning opportunities. They’re super observant and naturally curious about people and the world around them, and they take action to satisfy their curiosity. Learning is a vulnerable activity because it necessitates admitting a degree of ignorance. Emotionally intelligent people aren’t controlled by their ego; they can admit gaps in their knowledge. They’re more interested in filling those gaps than pretending they don’t exist.
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Final Word
We may feel that we’re strong in many EQ competencies, but at the same time we should be aware of our weaknesses as well. The good news is that our EQ score improves as we address those weaknesses. Goleman says: “It starts with noticing a low EQ habit; having a desire to change it; then figuring a way to counter the habit and put that new behavior into practice”.
To sum up, Emotional intelligence is the ability to navigate the murky world of emotions, and possessing it allows us to harness our emotions for positive results. This trait is an asset in the workplace, but it will also empower us to live a better, more balanced life.
About the Author
Muhammad Sajwani is the Founder and Managing Director of Evolve HR which aims at transforming, enriching and evolving Human Capital of Pakistan, Evolve HR thrives in challenging assumptions that hinder organisational aspirations, by creating innovative solutions that yield maximum impact, scalability & benefit to a wider base of stakeholders. As a Business Coach and Organisational Consultant, Sajwani knows how to combine business insights with people insights to transform organisations and put them on the path to growth.
